The Fabled Semen Tree

Since you spent the weekend outside, procrastinating all your work for finals, you might have gotten a chance to see some spring flowering action. This of course takes a turn for the worse when you get near those pretty white trees that smell like rank semen.

The Pyrus calleryana Chanticleer, more commonly known as “The Semen Tree” is planted throughout Albany as a decorative touch in front of brownstones. Also known as an Ornamental pear tree or a Bradford pear, this tree has even made it to urban dictionary, where it is described as smelling “like a cross between old semen, dirty vagina, and rotting fried shrimp.”

I first caught the whiff on North Pearl and my first thought was cow manure. With further investigation, (and by further investigation I mean a serious deep breath inwards while the small whitish-green flowers engulfed the middle section of my face) it was clear that this tree wasn’t taking me on a trip back to Vermont; It was taking me somewhere far more personal. So I’m advising you now; take note of the picture so you can A: avoid this tree at all costs or B: Go smell it for yourself.

Edit: Semen tree related comedy sketch via @residualninja.

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